The road to my house is a road I love. I’ve written about it. There is a gallery of photos from different times of the year…different times in my life (see the new tab on the top menu). This little house, the woods, the meadows and mountains beyond…visible through the woods. This location – it has been home for most of the last, almost 5 years… some of that 5 years was spent in my motor home: ‘Wild Thing’
The story, though, the ‘From the Front Porch’ story…it is the story of moments in time that comprise part of my life’s journey…along the road home.
I was reminded of the journey by Bill, of California Karelians. I contacted California Karelians to inquire about the possibility of a professional Karelian Bear Dog trainer to consult with me on Bear’s training. Having trained KBD puppies, but never a grown up KBD, I was unsure. I felt out of my depth and I so want to do things right so that Bear can have the best life possible with me and hopefully, Bob! Bill and Liz of California Karelians have been incredible resources as well as encouraging supporters.
After a discouraging setback between Bear and Bob, Bill emailed me: “you are on a journey it was supposed to be this way”.
Those words stuck with me. The universe sometimes conspires ‘against’ me with the same message from every venue of my life. These past weeks, it has been: ‘the journey’. Not the destination, but the journey, the road home. Not the house or the location, but the way there. Each moment of the journey is a blessed time. In a world of things that need to “get done”, “to do” lists, schedules and commitments…learning to enjoy the blessedness of each moment versus only the end goal of getting it done, can be a challenge. The moments often get lost in a swirl of busy-ness and the push for completion.
Months ago, sitting in Dr. Barbara Calm’s office with Karl – talking about his treatment but also my confiding to Dr. Calm that I felt I might be putting pressure on Karl with too much focus on him… and much as I tried not to, I knew there was underlying worry and anxiety. Our bond was so strong and we spent so much time together – I had a fear that he was holding on for me. I was speaking with her about my decision to step back and work on relaxing and letting things be. Dr. Calm smiled, pointed to Karl who was asleep on her office floor and said: “Look at him. He is not worried or anxious, take your cue from him.”
Bear is a joy! He is loving, enthusiastic, curious and eager to please. Outdoors, he is all Karelian Bear Dog business. Our bond grows every day: trust, respect and love. There is still a ways to go before we can try off leash. There is still a ways to go before Bob and Bear can be together with me.
There were some moments, weeks ago, when I was frustrated, scared, sure I was doing everything wrong and ruining both their lives. But then, those words: “you are on a journey it was supposed to be this way”. It changed my perspective. Nothing had actually changed in the circumstances except my ability to take one day at a time, recognize and experience the joy in each step forward and to look at occasional setbacks as opportunities to learn.
In dog training, there is something called “remove and redirect”. When an unwanted behavior is escalating, you remove your dog and redirect his attention. With Bear, if he is overexcited to the point where he cannot hear me, I give 2 tweets on the whistle I carry. In the brief silence from that distraction, I speak low and firm saying “Leave it” – then an upbeat “Let’s go, Bear!” as I do a 180 and remove him from whatever. Now he can hear me and he’s looking to me for direction, so I have him sit, which restores calm and allows us to reconnect. Bill suggested the 180 procedure to help teach Bear that the non threatening critters that were not in our yard were not worth attention.
I find that “remove and redirect” works for me as well :)! When something beyond my control is causing me to emotionally escalate in an unwanted manner, I do a mental 180, a sit-stay and redirect with a cup of tea, a quiet moment with Bear or Bob, a prayer for serenity in the moment and gratitude, whatever the circumstances.
An email from Bill after I confided that the “journey” words had helped me relax about Bear and Bob: “[…]you got the point, regarding the journey, and the dog lives in the moment, so why not enjoy it with him!”
Why not, indeed!
The journey, not the destination, not the outcome – it is the journey, one moment at a time … that is the road home – for me.
