Category: Front Porch Musings

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Wrapping up the week

Thursday afternoon, before the sun dipped behind the clouds, the sky and lake from Wayfarer’s park looked very different.


Temperature was right at 50F.

…and the above photos are from my newest electronic gadget thingy…

YOWZA! It is the HTC Thunderbolt, Verizon’s first 4g smartphone. I jumped the BlackBerry ship about 10 days ago and have been having more fun and giggles than a 55 1/2 year old person “should” (***) from a new toy :)!

Here it is connected to my laptop syncing contacts and calendar. When I get some music, it will sync that as well. It guesses words I’m trying to type, has animation for weather including windshield wipers and raindrops, falling snow and rolling clouds…. I’m sure the thunderstorm animation is spectacular as if you’ve seen the tv add, the start up is a thunderbolt complete with sound.

I have barely scratched the surface of what the thing can do, but my favorites so far are the flashlight – it uses the camera flash and has 3 beam intensities, and the Kindle app. I have a Kindle, but the 4.3 inch screen on this phone is actually not that much smaller, has great resolution and is very readable. And….the phone and the Kindle stay synced, automagically, so I can go back and forth and each finds my place.

I’m late to the touch gadget thing – friends have iTouch, iPad, iPhone and I’ve seen them and played a bit, but this is the first of my very own and I am amazed at the technology – FUN!!!

It was a good week in every way. The forecast for today is 100% rain which it is doing. I have a humongous pot of split pea soup complete with a ham bone, simmering on the stove. A fire is laid just waiting a match. A thermal air pot is full of my favorite hot tea. Karl and I are off to Whitefish – I have a hair appointment after which we will visit with Karl’s Auntie Kris and Uncle Hal and then home again, home again to light the fire, have a bowl of soup and a mug of tea and listen to the sound of spring rain on the roof.

Bob says he will wait in the nice, dry, warm house for us and to say “Hi” to Uncle and Auntie for him…

***The word “should” is mostly banished from my vocabulary…used here for effect :)!

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Spring meltdown

Yes, the snow is melting and the ground is thawing – the spring meltdown.

But, I had a personal meltdown as well. A perfect storm of concerns, a few nights of little sleep, withdrawing instead of reaching out – meltdown.

I saw a bumper sticker not too long ago that said: “Don’t believe everything you think”. It was eye-opening to me. It put a name on something that happened when a person near to me allowed past issues unrelated to me to color perception of me and my actions in a complete misjudgment. To be untrusted and unbelieved was the most hurtful thing I’ve ever encountered in any personal relationship. And it all stemmed from the other person believing internal thoughts fed by internal insecurities versus the reality of me. The additional personal fallout for me was that I started questioning my actions – had I behaved in a way that fed this… Seeing the bumper sticker was immediately freeing for me in one of those a-ha moments.

Fast forward to this week and my little storm of worries. I not only believed what I thought, I projected and spun and lept into a fictional future of hurt and grief. And all the while I sort of understood what I was doing and repeatedly tried to talk myself out of the downward spiral: reciting scripture, praying, telling myself to “get a grip” and “walk the walk that I talked”: living in the moment, trusting God and his ultimate Love and care.

And still the storm of worry swirled around me. So first I posted Spring Break as the thought of posting anything at all seemed beyond me and I just wanted the blog to go away for awhile.

And then I spoke to a friend. And then to a professional advisor. And then to two more friends. And to my mother. And the storm passed, the sun came out, the air cleared. The unwritten future horrors in my head disappeared and I regained my peace and equanimity, my faith and my gratitude for the goodness of each real moment – the reality in front of me.

And I gave myself a break. It was literally a beautiful, sunny day when my personal storm cleared. I took some time off from working and sat outside with Karl and Bob and just let the early Spring day wash over me. I slept that night and things cleared even more with a good night’s rest.

As the week progressed, I marveled at the complete turnaround, back to my normal optomistic, serene self – enjoying the many simple and good things that are part of my life. And I thought about what had happened and what had I learned from the experience as I’d dearly love to not repeat it :)!

I know that I typically draw energy from solitude. I also know that it is that trait that gets me in trouble when I don’t recognize that I need to reach out and ask for help from those that I love and who love me. I don’t withdraw or try to solve things on my own in some misguided sense of independence or strength, but rather because most often, quiet time on my own is what recharges me. The trick for me, is to realize when the need is not to recharge but to have another person to share the burden.

I saved the following quote from an episode of J.A.G. some years ago:

We are each angels with only one wing and we can only fly by embracing each other.

For me, this week, my own personal Spring meltdown was halted by embracing the warmth and love of friends and family and allowing them to take care of me.

There is still a lot on my plate, but sharing some of my life on this blog is a joy and pleasure. So… I’m back from Spring Break and will continue as in the past – sharing some of Karl’s, Bob’s and my life, in Montana, from the front porch.

***All photos taken on 3/23/2011 with my phone

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Spring Break

Cobwebs in my house and my head, a heavy work schedule, Karl.

Taking a Spring blogging break to take care of Karl, Bob and me.

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Weekend Miscellany

Friday morning perfection.

Between the sunshine, blue sky and perfect for us temps…who could NOT roll in the snow for the fun of it ? :)! ?

Feelin’ good.

I finished my work day mid-afternoon. Karl and I headed west to Kila and Calm Animal Care for Karl to have a spa treatment: a chiropractic follow up and a first time acupuncture. Yea, I was a little envious but actually it is a treat for me as well. We arrived early enough to have a long leisurely walk on the “Rails to Trails” path that looks to the view in the photo above. Dr. Calm’s office where we both wait and get treated has 2 1/2 large picture windows that look out on this valley view. Small trees just outside the windows were full of small birds chirping gaily in the almost spring sunshine.

The clinic is in an old house and exudes the same calm as Dr. Calm herself and all of the staff and even the other patients. Karl and I relaxed while waiting. Karl nearly falls asleep on his feet during the massage/chiropractic and he did fall asleep during the acupuncture part. I shared the foam mattress that serves as the dog bed and managed nearly falling asleep myself! Once home we were both feeling rejuvenated and had a wonderful evening walk around the loop as the sun started down.

Friday was to be the day to go to Great Falls and meet Ree Drummond (Pioneer Woman) but I had made the decision two weeks ago that I wouldn’t try to do the trip. As it turned out, the weather would have held me back as well.

…both the northern and southern pass options – snow, ice and or both.

But Friday here, was sunny, clear and beautiful – a beautiful evening and a good night’s rest all around after a good work week.

Saturday’s weather was a wintry mix which didn’t stop us from a morning grocery run and dampish walk in town and a lazy afternoon in front of the woodstove.

This morning. Misty, foggy, damp…another fire to keep things cozy until the sun started burning off the fog…

…and we headed out for another round of our home loop.

…while Bob relaxed at home: Weekend Miscellany.

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Think on these things

The sorrows of our earthly world have been receiving an enormous amount of “press”. I, and I imagine every one of you reading this post also have some private sorrow, hurt or worry that feels overwhelming.

And, not that there is not a time for sadness or grief, but I believe that we are also called, by our Creator, to live with Joy and thankfulness, even in the midst of difficult circumstances.

Father Tim, a character in Jan Karon’s Mitford series, often said to himself or to one of his parishioners: “Phillipians 4:13 for pete’s sake!”

“I can do everything through Him who gives me strength”

And earlier in Chapter 4:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” Verses 5-7

Powerful stuff. When I feel like it is impossible to not be anxious, I hear Father Tim’s voice in my head: “Phillipians 4:13 for pete’s sake!”

And then a verse right smack dab in the middle of those above…

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. […] And the God of peace will be with you.“ Verse 9

I don’t need to look very far to find things that meet those conditions:

Sunshine through the trees. A driveway that might reappear soon. The promise of Spring evident in the light, the melting snow and the hint of new things coming to life.

My boys.

My choice on what to think on is these things: these simple, lovely, pure, excellent and praiseworthy things.