Category: Front Porch Musings

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Helena, MT mornings

I’ve been up early – even earlier than my norm. Monday, my plan was to make a quick and early stop at Wal-Mart, then a drive past a rural house I saw on the internet, arriving at a bar/restaurant reputed to have a good breakfast – close to its 8:00 a.m. opening.

I stopped at Bob’s Market to take the photo. I am partial to sunlit clouds and think of them as direct communication from God…some people think rainbows, a past church acquaintance thought streetlights that flickered out… anyway, for me, it is sunlit clouds.

I don’t actually get a detailed message, I just feel the connection and the peace.

The Wal-Mart run was brief and successful.

The drive to the house was mixed, but interesting and ultimately pretty but I never saw the house. Google Maps Navigation has been wonderful, except for this route and I finally gave up and headed for the breakfast spot – arriving about 8:40 and it was getting warm and no shade parking so we came home.

This morning, Tuesday, the plan was “Steve’s Cafe” – highly rated. It WAS very good and shade parking, although I was there about 7:30 – still, I felt better about leaving Bear in the Jeep and I had a table where I could see him.

I also fueled the Jeep and scouted the Costco parking lot for a hoped for 10:00 a.m. run…that all worked also.

Wild Thing is loaded. Neither Bear nor I will go hungry. Tomorrow morning we head back to Great Falls. No, I have no explanation, it is just what I want to do. I think we’ll head home on Saturday, but all plans are subject to change.

This morning, as we headed to breakfast…a red sunrise and again, sunlit clouds.

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A Big Orange Sun

I have received such wonderful words… by email and phone.

Thank you, dear friends.

But, some very special and oh, so helpful words and thoughts came today from dear Margaret in Greece.

She wrote:

Today I couldn’t help thinking of Mr Bob and the image in my mind was of a big, orange sun. His warmth spread across oceans to another continent and stole into my heart. His life was full, his company, the best. You made all the right decisions – his quality of life was the important thing.

Those words, the mind’s eye image, came just when I needed it.

I was ready for my work meeting with half an hour to go and suddenly the grief hit and I just wanted to crawl into bed.

But, these words, the image, the love and the goodness of Bob…

This evening, the universe agreed and as Bear and I had our evening walk…

A big Orange Sun: Mr. Bob’s LOVE…. across the world.

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Staying put

Bear and I are staying put…

Funny to show a photo of a teepee, the ultimate nomad home, with a “staying put” title???

Well, we are on the road but for the moment, staying put.

I do NOT move Wild Thing if I am less than 100% and I am less than 100% and know that it is best to just stay put.

And I do not want to go back to the house.

I spoke to my neighbors. It is smoky. The yellow jackets are still around in abundance. I would have to face that house without Bob and I am not ready for that.

We, Bear and I, are comfortable in this spot. We have wonderful places to walk and good facilities.

I am paid until Sunday.

Tentatively, we will move to Helena for next week and I’m considering the following month in Dillon, Montana.

I have a work deadline tomorrow. I am in pretty good shape to meet the deadline. Work is a good distraction.

Meanwhile, Bear and I will stay put and start the process of learning to live our current existence without Bob.

RATS!

I hate this! I really hate this.

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Bear and me

Two is not three.

We should be three.

Bob is 5 minutes away but it seems like more sometimes.

Sometimes, I would like to just go and GET HIM HOME.

But.

All is going well, under the circumstances, for Bob.

And this challenging time for all of us will hopefully be just a memory soon.

Meanwhile.

Bear and me.

We have to live and work and walk and have treats.

We do.

This photo is from 8/17…last Saturday evening, from Bear’s and my evening walk.

Last weekend, there were people around the teepee and I didn’t realize that it was part of the campground until yesterday.

Last evening, after a very difficult day of worry over Bob (SILLY/STUPID…but there it is) and a full day of work and it was hot, etc., etc. – Bear and I went for our walk and I took the camera and hoped to see the rising moon and also to explore what this campground calls “the Nature Trail”.

Bear and I discovered that the “Nature Trail”, included the teepee and also that since there was no one else around…off leash it was, quiet and peaceful and watching the moon, enjoying the big sky and open views.

Bear and Me.

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A visit with Mr. Bob!

No photos…BUT, I saw Mr. Bob…in hospital.

Bear and I made a run to Wal-Mart which was agony on my part as I am not a huge fan of Wal-Mart but it was a one-stop shopping choice that we could do early.

We proceeded to our river venue for a walk and then whizzed past the veterinary hospital and finding the “customer” part of the lot clear of vehicles we zipped in for a check on Mr. Bob.

The hospital vet met with me and said that Bob was cranky (NORMAL!!) but doing well. She said that he was eating a lot…in fact they needed more of his food :)! – go Mr. Bob!!!

She convinced me that it would be good for him to have a visit so we were set up in a room for some time together. Bob settled with me and we had a good snuggle, chin scratches and a long talk about things.

Dr. Scherr was about for an emergency surgery but he saw me and was waiting for the surgical dog to be prepped so we had a chance to talk briefly. He had reviewed Bob’s history and assured me that we had done exactly what he would have. He also explained a bit more about the procedure to fix things and told me that this particular surgery, while post-op 2-5 days can be tough…at day 7 the results are worth it.

I came away feeling better having seen and held Bob, having more info on the procedure and hearing Dr. Scherr’s confidence.

We await some test results due tomorrow (Monday) morning.

As always, these challenging life things bring a lot of other life issues into perspective.

A short time ago, I discovered Heather Lende‘s books and blog. This past week she wrote about her decision to be ‘present in the moment’ with her grandchildren. That has stuck with me this past week with the travelling, my birthday and the various responses to both. Being ‘present in the moment’ for Bob and for Bear have been so helpful in dealing with the other vagaries.

Bob, Bear and I – we are good.

I appreciate all who have communicated with me genuinely and positively – you have helped all of us and I constantly feel buoyed up by your thoughts and prayers.

Onward!!